Breaking The News To The Family About Cancer Diagnosis

When is the right time to tell your loved ones about your cancer diagnosis?

Cancer diagnosis is hard on it’s own, and cancer patients are faced with another difficulty: how and when to tell the bad news to friends, family and loved ones? Patients can consider professional help in this, encouraging them to express their feeling.

One of the most difficult things about a cancer diagnosis for any patient  is telling the news to their family. In very recent past cancer was spoken about in hushed tones, if it was mentioned at all. But thanks to medical progress, we understand that cancer is not necessarily a death sentence  – survival rates for many types have improved dramatically. And times have changed too, so talking openly about cancer is no longer a taboo.

Dr. Shyamali Singhal, oncologist, has years of experience with cancer and cancer patients, and she says there is so much to talk about when someone receives a cancer diagnosis. It can trigger a cascade of emotions from shock and anxiety to anger and fear, or even numbness. Plans will be up in the air and while cancer patients will become the centre of attention, family members may also experience these feelings. Bottling them up won’t make them go away, while letting them out can reassure and relax everyone.

When Is The Right Time?

Telling the news to loved ones is especially hard for people diagnosed with an incurable cancer, such as mesothelioma. But, once that is done, family is there to help and support through the battle with cancer. How to say it? When is the right time? Dr. Singhal says there’s no one right way to tell people about cancer. Patients might decide to ask a family member or friend to let others know about the diagnosis. Maybe each person in the family needs a bit different approach in breaking the news.

Considering A Therapist

It’s normal to worry about how family members and friends feel. Encouraging them to express their feelings will help patients and their close ones both work through feelings together. Sometimes, people are unsure of what to say and they fear saying the wrong thing, if there is such a thing. The first thing to do is figure out how one feels and what they’re comfortable sharing with others. Some people choose to discuss these topics with a mental health therapist first. A therapist can help patients decide what is it that they want to say and how they want to say it.

Talking To Children

How to talk to children and teens about cancer depends on the age and personality of the child. Both children and teens need time to deal with their feelings. Younger children need shorter talks with clear and simple facts. They need to be talked to about the present. Older children and teens generally want specific information. Teens may want to talk about both the present and the future.

All children affected by cancer need to have opportunities to talk openly about the topic. They need to feel free to ask any question. Sometimes children can be very direct. They might ask about the possibility of dying. They want to know how this will affect them and who will take care of them if this happens.

Who And When To Tell?

Child should know and feel  that he or she can talk to someone close at any time. Find out what the child is thinking and feeling. Help the child or teen to communicate their needs, fears and concerns in a way that is appropriate for his or her age. Let the child know that it’s also okay to ask  how you are feeling at any time.It can be hard to know when to tell others about a cancer diagnosis. Patients should tell their friends and coworkers specifically what information they want them to share with others. For example, someone may decide to discuss health situation with their boss, but request that the information be kept confidential. This can help keep control over what information is discussed with other people.

Telling others about cancer when patients feel comfortable doing so is a wise thing to do. If patients are having trouble and can't decide what to do or want help, they should discuss the matter with a trusted friend, loved one, licensed social worker or counselor.

Focus On What Really Matters- Your Health

Many people feel the need to announce their diagnosis to everyone around them when they are first diagnosed with cancer. Feeling as if everyone should know is normal; however, it's not always best. Patients may find that it is better to tell only those who will be part of a positive support system, such as immediate family members and very close friends. Some people find themselves feeling guilty for not sharing their diagnosis with certain friends. They shouldn’t. Only job a patient has right now is to focus on getting healthy, and that may mean not sharing their diagnosis with anyone in your life who seems to drain your energy level.

Sharing Diagnosis

Dr. Singhal knows that sharing your diagnosis can be as hard as hearing the diagnosis yourself, but there are often silver linings. Certainly, nobody would opt to go through cancer, but amidst the heartache and the challenges, there are often rays of light, and sometimes those rays of light take the form of new or strengthened friendships. Research is now revealing that along with all of the emotional and physical scars of treatment, cancer changes people in positive ways, as well.